Wednesday, May 6, 2009

You Can Learn A Lot About Yourself Through Conflict

That's right, you can learn perhaps even more than you ever wanted to know about yourself and others when you are engaged in a conflict. The truth is, conflicts are bound to be a part of all of our lives regardless of how old or how young we are. From struggling over a favorite toy in pre-school, to quarreling with a service manager about a product you want to return and they don't want back.

Conflicts can and do happen within the body of Christ which we refer to as the Church. Some would argue this should never happen, but debate it as long as you want, over as many cups of coffee as you choose, conflict does occur far more often than we would like to admit.

Conflict does show me a lot about myself.

a. How angry I can become
b. How loud I can be.
c. How quickly I am willing to share my conflict with someone else who is not involved.
d. What my motive is for "c." will come to surface
e. If I am willing to try to resolve this for the glory of God or if I want to just hang on to the bitterness, allowing it to take in root in my life so I can relive the conflict over and over again.
f. It also shows me if I am learning anything from all the prayers I've prayer, chapters of the bible I've read, all the sermons I've heard (and preached) and all the lessons on "dealing with conflict" that I've particiapted in.
g. It also shows if I am prone to forgive or hold a grudge, and blame the other party for all the conflict.

Conflicts are just never fun. I know, I've been in more than my share. Some of my own making, others a result of being a Pastor, and still others because, well, people are people, God help us, and we are all victims of the Fall.

Conflicts, in retrospect, just may be the tool God will use to allow me to see myself in the mirror he is holding for me.

Hmmm, wonder what you think?

1 comment:

  1. Because I avoid conflict I am unwilling to answer your question as it may cause discomfort in our relationship.

    I do find it interesting that in the midst or the aftermath of conflict, relationships usually end up stronger. Maybe not between yourself and the conflictee, but chances are you will end up in a stronger relationship with someone.

    There are some unhealthy ways to deal with it though and those ways usually end in heart attacks and ulcers. Thanks for the insight!